Michelle Obama says that ‘final work’ for a parent is for children to fail and build resistance

Former First Lady Michelle Obama expressed the importance of parents “stretching the caterpillar” by letting children take risks and fail.

In the latest episode of her Podcast “IMO” on Wednesday, Obama spoke about the desire of her daughters to have faith and independence while admitting that they could only learn those traits through judgment and error.

“I think many parents are afraid to watch that failure,” she said. “Thing is the hardest thing to do to see your children walk on a wall you knew it was there. And you told them not to enter it. Until they hit it and get a lump in their heads, they just won’t learn it. This is a painful thing for us.”

Still, she added, “If you keep your children out of that experience, a bump in your head, you are robbing them of their competence. They need to know that you can collide your head, and you can understand it. Go to the doctor. Put some ice. Don’t do it again.

“Let’s talk about this after the fact. But as you grow old, I don’t have to go through everything. I think it’s a constant exercise of the caterpillar, always mistake on the side of making it longer.”

Former First Lady Michelle Obama speaks on stage during the second day of the National Democratic Convention at the United Center on August 20, 2024 in Agoikago, Illinois. Getty Images
First lady Michelle Obama and girls, Sasha Obama and Malia Obama arrive during the Presidential inauguration in the Western US front of January 21, 2013 in Washington, DC. Getty Images

Obama said she believed that some parents keep their children very long despite the “final work” was to teach them resistance.

She advised parents to start when their children are young with simple things like going to school herself.

“Take some risks because you can land softly here,” she noticed.

Michelle Obama speaks on stage in IMO Live: Michelle Obama, Craig Robinson & Dr. Laurie Santos during the SXSW 2025 Conference and Festival at the Center of Conventions at Austin on March 13, 2025 in Austin, Texas. Getty Images

During an episode of her podcast last week, Obama also warned parents not to worry about being friends of their children.

“So many people are trying to be their children’s friends, and they think it makes you closer,” Obama said. “But let me tell you, I wasn’t a friend of my children. I love them deeply. He had respect. And, you know, for those of you trying to be friends with your children, our children love us as much as adults.

“In fact, the relationship, I think, is even closer because now they have won my friendship. Now we can be friends. Now, maybe you know something.”

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Image Source : nypost.com

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